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Kojak

Elf Female
Not affiliated with an Alliance
Elf Female Character Portrait

 

Beware the Wrath Of Kojak

If you are going to troll my game, I WILL remove you.

Be a jerk somewhere else.

DO NOT piss in my sandbox.

Do not meddle in the affairs of Kojak

For you are crunchy

And good with ketchup.

*THIS IS PRICELESS!!!*

Nov 10, 2022

[15:37]<GM Stormcrow> * censored *
[15:37]<System> **** <GM Stormcrow> has been auto-silenced until 10NOV22 16:36. Please don't use profanity. You can block a player in chat by clicking on their name and choosing that option from the popup **

*********

[00:22]<Kojak> What did I win, Duran?

[00:22]<Duran Shadowfist> Hmm. An honorary dwarf title, you can only use one time, in the future when we launch our next Faction Event

 

[12:50]<Kodabear> ***Breaking news*** Kojak has joined the rank of the magic bears as a magic bear cub.

            How To Catch A Kojak

 

[16:41]<MicroMe> *throws a line into EE's AC hoping to catch a Kojak*
[16:42]<MicroMe> *reels line in, adds a turquoise to the end and casts it back*
[16:43]<Kojak> *tug* *tug*
[16:43]<Toki> 
[16:43]<MicroMe> *reels in quickly*
[16:43]<MicroMe> WOOHOOO!!!!
[16:43]<MicroMe> I GOT A KOJAK!!!!! 
[16:43]*Kojak flops in the bottom of MM's boat
[16:44]<MicroMe> *hits Kojak over the head with nerf bat and motors back home*

   

 

https://illystuff.uk/AccountSearch/demo2.html

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The Field Mice Union was mistakenly created when "Dinsdale" realized that there were massive amounts of unemployed woodland creatures who had no gainable employment opportunities. Being "New" to the game,.and not having much gold, he struck up a partnership with a traveling Thespian performance group of field mice who (through no fault of their own) had run up massive debts playing the Cheese Market with their retirement funds. A deal was then struck between their lawyers whereby; when not being contractuallly libable for a "booked" performance of their traveling thespian troop, they would then provide "Military Service" to the Lord Dinsdale in lieu of the payments towards their -negative balance- to their Cheese Broker. 

Unfortunately for Dinsdale - (who has never engaged in the small mammal personnel market before). He soon found himself -Contractully obligated- to many demands and requirements that only one familiar with "Woodland Law" would have seen fit to expect or be amenable too. In short... The Field Mice Unionized - and now guess who's running the show? This situation was not helped by the "GM StormCrow" when he made the mistake of granting them an upgrade boon to their troop skills In December of 2011.

 [02:01]<System> promotes Dinsdale's "Standard Field Mice" to "Doom-mongering Field Mice Of The Apocalypse". Speaking in GC in February to the question of whether FMU really had this  - 

01:37]<GM Stormcrow> This is true btw. FMU does indeed have Doom-mongering Field Mice Of The Apocalypse at their disposal. Stay away... stay well away... Even the Mammoths and Dracoliches fear them.

 

 

 

 

 

    

 

 

Trivia Tuesday:
September Standings, Week 2

  Name Points Bonus
1 Dogstar 6 1
2 Freyja 5 6
3 Asvenger 5 1
 - Remy 5 1
5 Artefore 4 2
6 KatyKat 3 3
 - Ordo 3 3
8 Rootbound 2 6
9 Kojak 2 5
10 Wartow 2 2
11 Willd Lemon Grenade 2 0
12 Tehuti 1 2
13 nub 1 1
14 Troy HalfOz 1 0
 - OrangegraphIII 1 0
16 AdoraBella 0 3
17 Grumple 0 1
 - Greymarch 0 1
 - Smoking GNU 0 1
 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The most SURPRISING stat EVER!!!

GNU PLAYED TRIVIA!!!

 

 

[20:40]<Mity Ant> clears his throat, ummm! ummm! There once was a grower from LEEDS who swallowed some Mary Jane seeds Now it came to pass he grew Grass on his a ss now he smokes all the blunts that he pleases
[20:41]<Kojak> There once was a man from Boston who rode 'round town in his Austin. He had room for his ass and a gallon of gas, but his balls hung out so he lost 'em
[20:41]<Mity Ant> lol
[20:43]<Scapegoat> Some say he might've tossed em. Hanging so low like that, caused trouble for his back. So first chance he got, he got em lopped
[20:44]<Kojak> You skipped something in there, Scapegoat
[20:46]<TOE> the only one I know is a nantuckit one so will hold back as it would be a ban hammer worthy limerick
[20:47]<Scapegoat> Heh, might be right. Not the best with limericks
[20:47]<Asur> They tend to be the only ones I know TOE
[20:48]<Smoking GNU> were you bitten by a radioactive Karen, kojak?
[20:49]<Asur> ooooooh! shots fired there Smoking lol
[20:49]<Kojak> Nope...I avoid Karens wherever I go
[20:50]<Asur> An anti Karen movement lol
[20:50]<System> ** News Flash: Silver Crescent (Abandoned)'s city of Tormenta de la Luna is now under siege by Terra Nova's [DiL] city of G - Falkirk - C
[20:50]<Mity Ant> Clears his throat Ummm ! Ummm! There onece was a girl named Alice who used dynamite as a phlaus they found virgina in north carolina
[20:50]<Willd Elff> KOOOJAAAAAK!!!!!!!
[20:50]<Willd Elff> XD HEHEHE
[20:51]<Willd Elff> 
[20:51]<Kojak> WILLD!!!!!
[20:51]<Mity Ant> and her butt at buckingham palace
[20:51]<Willd Elff> ????
[20:52]<Helmsman> (((WE)))
[20:52]<Scapegoat> DONKEY
[20:53]<Willd Elff> The nite was dark black and blue...around the corner a Sh!t wagon flew...a bumb was hit a fart was heard...and someone was killed by a flying turd!!!
[20:53]<Kojak> A damsel, seductive and handsome Got wedged in a sleeping room transom. When she offered much gold For release, she was told That the view was worth more than the ransom.
[20:53]<Willd Elff> (((Helms)))
[20:54]<Helmsman> 
[20:54]<Mity Ant> lol
[20:54]<Willd Elff> Oh bump *
[20:54]<Willd Elff> Lol
[20:58]<Willd Elff> Guess i killed it...
[20:58]<Kojak> I ran off to AC for a minute
[20:58]<Rumple'n Ruckus> Rhyme game too stronk
[20:58]<Kojak> But I'm still here
[20:59]<TOE> fears the flying turds
[20:59]<Mity Ant> Clears his throat Ummm1 Ummm! There once was a pirate named Bates Who was fooling around with his mates when he fell on his cutlass which renderd him nutless and made him usless on dates
[20:59]<Willd Elff> Lol
[20:59]<Kojak> LOL
[20:59]<Willd Elff> Howdy Toe
[20:59]<TOE> hey WE
[21:06]<Willd Elff> I guess I should click something
[21:07]<TOE> if you ckick it more than 2 times you are playing with it
[21:07]<Kojak> There once was a man from Bel Aire who was doing his wife on the stair. But the bannister broke, so he doubled his stoke And finished her off in mid air
[21:08]<Meat Puppet> Stairway to Heaven?
[21:08]<Meat Puppet> 
[21:10]<PaganMistress> nice one Kojak
[21:10]<Kojak> That last was my FIL's FAVORITE
[21:10]<Mity Ant> lol
[21:11]<Kojak> He has a HUGE book of them
[21:12]<Willd Elff> Lol
[21:13]<TOE> hairway to steven by the BHS came to mind sir Meat Puppet
[21:15]<Meat Puppet> Nice, I've refrained from naming a city after them thus far 
[21:15]<Meat Puppet> Now I have a favorite Toe in Illy 
[21:17]<Mity Ant> clears his throat UMMM! UMMM! In her convetable she was Quite brash when she put her feet on the dash when a trucker drove by her crotch caught his eye and four people died in the crash!
[21:17]<Kojak> 
[21:18]<TOE> grim but funny Mity 
[21:23]<Kojak> There once was a lady named Alice who used a dynamite stick for a phallus. THey found her vagina in North Carolina and her backside at Buckinham Palace
[21:25]<Kojak> And with that, I'm off for more BOTW
[21:26]<TOE> Someone should be saving these lymericks


[05:51]<runelord> ZzZzz
[05:51]<AJJ> This is early for you rune, can't sleep?
[05:51]<Sa'Belle> Morning rune
[05:52]<runelord> Hi aj belle
[05:52]<Cabletow> gud mornin runelord
[05:52]<runelord> At the B&B in nunney
[05:52]<runelord> Hi cabletrow
[05:53]<AJJ> Aha
[05:53]<Cabletow> why did I thought of Bungeon and Bragons for some reason
[05:53]<AJJ> Don't ask us to explain your musings, Cable; 'tis a mystery! 
[05:54]<runelord> Uks smallest castle in the village
[05:54]<Cabletow> we had a 16 hour power interruption yesterday and another 2 hours today
[05:54]<AJJ> Ooft, that's not great
[05:54]<Sa'Belle> That's frustrating
[05:54]<Cabletow> partnered with high humidity, princess been cursing entire day
[05:54]<Sa'Belle> I bet she has
[05:54]<Sa'Belle> Stay out of murdering range
[05:55]<Cabletow> yeah, minimal movement as much as possible
[05:55]<runelord> And wifey doesnt sleep well in new beds on first night
[05:55]<Cabletow> hope everyone's having better days lol
[05:56]<Cabletow> it's ODS then rune, but the sleeping version.
[05:57]<runelord> Well i always sleep like the dead.....
[05:57]<Cabletow> it's a life skill
[05:58]<runelord> Bsides there is decent coffee and havevtime for a couple of cups, shower then breakfast before we take the car to safari park 15 mins away
[05:59]<AJJ> I hope you have a brilliant time and that it isn't too crowded
[05:59]<Cabletow> a UK safari? what's usually there?
[06:00]<Kojak> Foxes and hedge hogs
[06:00]*AJJ rolls her eyes
[06:00]<Kojak> ROFL
[06:01]<Kojak> Maybe some sheep?
[06:02]<AJJ> You forgot the cows 
[06:02]<Kojak> And maybe a wild Scot?
[06:03]<AJJ> Dunno about Scots, but the free-roaming haggis enclosures are good for a laugh
[06:03]<Kojak> ROFL
[06:04]<Kojak> The free-roaming haggis will draw the wild Scot
[06:04]<runelord> Haha i was hoping for that rare sky rat known as the pigeon
[06:04]<AJJ> Oh yes, it will indeed! And then there'll be much wode painting and rock throwing
[06:05]<Kojak> Don;t forget the yelling
[06:05]<runelord> But longleat does have many things including a gorilla island and a koala zone
[06:05]<AJJ> And the kilt lifting
[06:05]<Ainz Oowl Gown> A wild scot appears before you *Attack* *Cast* *Run Away*
[06:06]*AJJ attacks with a square sausage
[06:06]<Kojak> Make sure you have a blue silk ribbon for the prize the Scot;s kilt will lift and show
[06:07]<Okkudo> ring-di-diddly-eye-oh
[06:07]<Kojak> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2VayTZ_gPo
[06:09]<AJJ> Tens would skin us alive for all that 
[06:10]<Kojak> Then let him come back and do it!
[06:11]<AJJ> Agreed *pours more coffee*
[06:12]<Kojak> Coffee sounds like a plan

**************************************************

[05:40]<Dawn> In Illyriad's chat, where stories unfold, Weirdness blossoms, as tales are told. Blocklists grow, a defense they wield, Against the oddities, in Illyriad's field.

***************************************************

[01:31]<Ranger> And hello to you too Rannek

[01:31]<Rannek> Oh, hi

[01:32]<Rill> hi Rannek

[01:32]<Rannek> How is everyone?

[01:32]<chant> good Rannek. You?

[01:33]<Rannek> Tired.

[01:33]<chant> from hours of Illy? 

[01:34]<Ranger> Haha

[01:34]<Rannek> More like halves of hours

[01:35]<Freya> i should go to sleep ...it is almost 3 in the morning over here

[01:35]<chant> but?

[01:36]<Kojak> Is Frea now an Illyholic?

[01:36]<chant> could be...

[01:36]<Freya> maybe

[01:36]<chant> lol

[01:36]<Ranger> NIce meeeting you Freya!

[01:36]<Kojak> LOL

[01:36]<Freya> is there a meeting for all Illyholics?

[01:37]<Kojak> IA meetings are daily, each hour on the hour

[01:37]<Kojak> I am the president

[01:37]<Freya> good to know

[01:37]<Kojak> 

[01:37]<chant> 12 step program 

[01:37]<Rill> I go to almost every meeting and I'm still an addict

[01:37]<Rill> can't figure out why it's not working

[01:37]<chant> first the tutorial....

[01:39]<Rhondalark> My name is Lark, and I'm an Illyholic

[01:39]<Kojak> It may have to do with the fact that meetings are help in GC........

[01:39]<chant> hi Rhonda (claps)

[01:39]<Kojak> held

[01:39]<Siemreeper> my name is Siemreeper, it's my first meeting tonight, and I know I'm an Illyholic

[01:39]<Agustina Of Spain> lol as soon as my mother got up from her chair my cat took it 

[01:40]<LoonieOne> as is the cats right

[01:40]<Kojak> He's just keeping it warm for your mother

[01:41]<Freya> warm and jairy

[01:41]<Freya> hairy

[01:41]<Dracoriad> an illyholic, huh?

[01:41]<Kojak> Yes, Draco

[01:41]<Dracoriad> it fits the symptoms

[01:41]<Agustina Of Spain> we are akk illyholics

[01:41]<Agustina Of Spain> all*

[01:41]<Siemreeper> lol

[01:42]<Siemreeper> see it's getting to you already lol

[01:42]<Siemreeper> I have a question, as a newb Illyholic...

[01:42]<Kojak> Ask, Siem

[01:42]<Agustina Of Spain> yes?

[01:43]<MasterMumbling> admit is first step siem

[01:43]*Rill snuggles Lark

[01:43]*Fiona needs an Illyholic shirt

[01:43]<Siemreeper> ?

[01:43]<Freya> oh yes illyholic shirts for all

[01:43]<Dracoriad> snuggles Pixie

[01:43]<Siemreeper> extra large for me please

[01:44]<Rannek> I deny

[01:44]<Dracoriad> what

[01:44]<Ranger> Heya Siemreeper!

[01:44]<Tylas> I can give it up anytime...

[01:44]<Conrad> are commanders made at the barracks?

[01:45]<Duff Doppelganger> promote a troop to commander

[01:45]<Agustina Of Spain> lol i would buy that fiona

[01:45]<Tylas> Commanders are normal troops that have been promoted.

[01:45]<Fiona> Lol I know

[01:45]<Duff Doppelganger> #/Military/Commanders

[01:45]<Conrad> thanks for the link

[01:45]<Tylas> so yes, build them at the barracks but then you have to make them commanders.

[01:46]<Conrad> sweet.. thanks guys.. got a link to read also

[01:46]<Conrad> lol.. its not a big link..

[01:46]<Dracoriad> do militia hv to hv a commander?

[01:46]<Kojak> Yes

[01:47]<Freya> good night GC...(forcing myself to go)

[01:47]<Rill> they will defend your city without a commander

[01:47]<Kojak> Armies cannot move without commanders

[01:47]<Rill> but if you want them to go outside your city they have to have one

[01:47]<Rill> good night Freya, see you tomorrow

[01:47]<LoonieOne> *grabs Freya* YOU CAN'T GO!

[01:47]<Rannek> Night Freya

[01:47]<chant> nn freya

[01:47]<Dracoriad> night Freya

[01:48]<Kojak> See you at a meeting soon. Freya?

[01:48]<chant> lol kojak

[01:48]<Versail> Hello.

[01:49]<Kojak> Hi Versail

[01:49]<Freya> i'll b there... bye 

[01:49]<Rill> hi Versail, welcome to Illy

[01:49]<Rannek> Lol

[01:49]<Rhondalark> WE'll be here for you, Freya!

[01:49]<chant> hey versail

[01:49]<Versail> It seems nice here.

[01:49]<Rill> I suggest you upgrade your storehouse and lower your tax rate

[01:49]*Rhondalark hugs chant

[01:49]<chant> loves hugs. hugs Rhonda back 

[01:50]<Raefer> Hello all

[01:51]<chant> hi raefer

[01:51]<Raefer> what's the hot topic at this hour?

[01:51]<Kojak> Illyholics

[01:51]<Ranger> Cla..cla.. Pizza!

[01:51]<Kojak> And cold weather

[01:51]<Rill> hi Raefer

[01:51]<chant> but you need a sponsor, lol

[01:52]<Agustina Of Spain> hello rae

[01:52]<Dracoriad> where do commander names show up?

[01:52]<chant> yes, pizza

[01:52]<Raefer> aren't we all illyholics?

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Total time to complete all research: 973d 3hr 6m 30s

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