Trixon
A cotter's story
(Winner of an Alliance Competition that required using serveral key words)
Blood sprayed over my face as the snow leopard bit into my brother’s neck. It had come from nowhere and fled as fast as it had arrived. My brother James slumped to the ground face down. I stood in shock as a red pool stained the snow around him. Tears welled in my eyes, nothing would be the same. He was the last of my family in this cold barren land. It took many hours to bury my brother’s body using only the spear and knife I had with me. The darkness fell but I was not going to return home. There was nothing for me any more in my city of DOLL. I took the bag of Artic Wolf hides and headed north.
I was raised hearing stories of a warm and peaceful land called Elgea. Now it was time to see it. The city of Orc Alarm was where I traded all my hides for a river crossing. The monthly ferry was unfortunately full so I was dragged behind in the cold water. But nothing is as cold as The Long White that was my home.
It took a year of traveling to get to the city of Blagpool at the edge of the Bitter Sea, but the grass along the way was surprisingly tasty. The first thing I did was to buy my travel to Algea by selling my virginity to a buxom Orc pirate. She was a dirty old lusty lady, my pelvis was bruised for weeks, but it was worth it. Algea was spectacular, I arrived in Drakonis Exzilon and marvelled at its marble buildings and teeming people rushing around wearing the finest silk. In the town square I heard a tale about King Hevneren and wanted to find out if he really was the greatest ruler of Elgea. Months more traveling followed and I befriended a wild dog that trained me to catch food for him. King Hevneren’s city of Nyborg was welcoming. Quickly a house was built for me and I was given instructions to gather herbs. The foraging was easy and the weather always mild. But the good times were not to last. One day I was several hours walk away from the city, gathering in the warm sun, when I was nearly spotted by enemy archers. I tried to get back to the city but it became quickly surrounded by soldiers of the treacherous, evil and often whingey King Viru6. I waited deep into the night then I heard Calvary charge and a mighty battle ensured. When the dawn rose I inspected the thousands dead, the siege was broken. I saw a bow lying on a moss covered rock. It wasn’t an ordinary bow; it was made of several types of wood and encrusted with emeralds. The bow became mine. If I returned to Nybord I knew I would have to place the bow in the inventory of resources, in the weapons section. Thinking of that I left and travelled towards the city of Skogstadsminne. As I approached I saw it was besieged. I waited and studied their Calvary move around the city and their grotesque commanders’ bark orders constantly. It was again armies loyal to the disgusting King Viru6. Then it came, the mighty Hucbold’s Royal Calvary attacked them. I ran into the camp towards an enemy commander’s tent, unnoticed in the chaos.
“I never cared for battles, I might be a commander but they can look after themselves” I heard
I ripped open the heavy tent flap and saw him.
“Lord Brascan” I yelled “I have been watching you”
He dropped the wine goblet and grabbed his silversteel spear from the large snack counter. His eyes and nose were red with intoxication but he was ready to fight. A guard in full plate mail leapt up with sword drawn. I could only shoot one arrow before they both attacked. The arrow sped through the air and made a sucking sound as it buried itself deep into the chest of Lord Brascan.
“All we wanted was for Hevneren to say sorry” were his last words
The guard’s helmet was thrown to the ground revealing long blonde wavy hair. She was gorgeous, the cream de la cream of her beautiful elven race.
“My name’s Sweet Cheeks” She said “I have been unable to bear children, but you are so handsome in a scruffy way, I want you like the Pawanallpa desert wants rain”
I striped, lay spread eagle in all my naked beauty. While we made furious, sweaty love, I cried out a fertility prayer to the Big Boob Goddess. It was 100 per cent pleasure.
And that, my son, was how I met your mother.
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Warning: I use crafted armor
